He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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