your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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