It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
