No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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