Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
