i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
