it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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