actually, I'm a sock model
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
