About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
