yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
