Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
