Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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