ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
