Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
