I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
