She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
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She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
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Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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