No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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