wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
this is an emotional support booty call
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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