I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize