How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm like, not good at living.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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