Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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