Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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