Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
