consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
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Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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