Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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