I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
