i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The Olympian is in my bed
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