Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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