This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
