Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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