Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
