You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
