I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
