can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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