just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
