We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
