I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
