it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
