Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize