Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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(913): Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy. (1-913): You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you. http://tfl.nu/j71x

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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(337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style

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(314): I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style http://tfl.nu/rcp4

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(614): View more from Ohio

see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy

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(614): see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy http://tfl.nu/v81p

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(607): View more from New York

I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.

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(607): I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that. http://tfl.nu/9hhk

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(907): View more from Alaska

Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.

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(907): Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/ohgs

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(304): View more from West Virginia

STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!

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(304): STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us! http://tfl.nu/rgw4

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(316): View more from Kansas

She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

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(316): She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar.... http://tfl.nu/1ee9

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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(814): I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was. http://tfl.nu/qrct

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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(773): I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech. http://tfl.nu/9arc

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

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(978): As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine. http://tfl.nu/djyf

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading

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(480): I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading http://tfl.nu/eqt2

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(209): View more from California

I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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(209): I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird http://tfl.nu/f8av

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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(843): Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco. http://tfl.nu/7zc7

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(828): View more from North Carolina

nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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(828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a

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