i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice