she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dick very happy bro