It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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