Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
