Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
