Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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