Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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