If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
