What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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