i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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