I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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