you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
