she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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