I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just googled if crying burns calories
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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