i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
